circumspector: (( focus ) » i'm never complete)
a n g e l . ([personal profile] circumspector) wrote in [personal profile] mustact 2020-08-20 01:47 pm (UTC)

She couldn't go to see him. She just had to trust Charles and Jacob had seen it through after she'd managed to pull the truth out of the plants about what she needed to cure Connor's memory. Though she had said it over and over again, only if he wanted it. It wouldn't be right to taks his choices, no matter his state of mind because of a strange alien maze, away from him. The only thing that mattered to her was Connor's happiness, and if he... If he just wanted to never see her again then... That was that. She had no right or claim.

But she figured if... If she stayed out here worrying instead? Listening intently with super hearing to make sure he was okay, then... Then that would be alright? Nothing too bad. Nothing overt. She just wanted him safe and happy and free.

Which meant she wasn't doing much else but sitting, staring at her own feet, hands tucked under her legs at the edge of her bed, half torturing herself with the presence of him, our of reach, but knowing she couldn't go in there. He looked at her like she was... She didn't know. But she knew she couldn't handle it.

Her heart was breaking. A way she didn't think it could, but it was.

She pressed her knees together, her hands tucked under legs and her shoulders tense as she fought wanting to curl up into a ball and hide away from the hurt of it. Jacob and Charles had looked after her, not let her be alone.

It just wasn't the... same. Or, it was its own special they, but it was shadowed in the pain of this - being reviled by the person she'd give herself up for if he asked, to be looked at like she was nothing.

Oh, stop it, she was being pathetic. It wasn't anyone's fault. Except creepy maze. It was the creepy mazes fault and she'd done everything she could.

"Snap out of it, Angel. It'll work or it won't. Quit moping. What are you? A little girl?" It's a miserable mutter as she wiped at her own eyes. Angry at that too. Connor made the crying feel not so sad and pathetic, he'd hold her and whisper warmly to her. But alone? She had nothing but those thoughts to live with.

So wrapped in them, for once, she didn't hear anyone approach her little room in the quad where she sat on the end of the bed, just the sound of her own sad frustrated sniffles as she tried to get her composure together as she waited to here whether it worked or not, or if Connor still had forgetten well - everything.

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